Flow
by What's Their Name
Summary: Events from Mediator: Shadowland pg. 219 220 of the Simon Pulse first edition print, narrated from Jesse's perspective.


****

Disclaimer: Mediator and all rights reserve property of Jenny Carroll and Simon Pulse. Character used here is without permission of said authority but is used with no intention of making profit.

"Flow" property of Transister, and used here with out composers' permission. Song was used with out intention of making profit.

****

Summary: Events from Mediator; Shadowland pg. 219 - 220 of the Simon Pulse first edition print, narrated from Jesse's perspective.

****

Warning: Rated pg-13 for some mentioned nudity

I entertain the idea of leaving.

__

I'm always swimming against the flow of the tide  
Kissing the life into something that already died

I stayed here for so long, watched many moments in people's lives. Flowing along the tides of time. Many men and women spent the nights in each others embrace clinging desperately to something that was not to be theirs, several children grew up within these walls and a man hung himself inside the closet. Fights tears and laughter, I watched them all. It made me feel alive, gave me a feeling of belonging. I loved, I fought, I laughed and cried. Watching them made me feel human once more. I never felt like I was intruding. Why find embarrassment in joy?

__

I've been drowning forever  
I'll let go  
I'll dive into the river and flow

I don't know how it happened. I sat at the window, impatiently, waiting for them to return home. I only hoped I had gotten to the boy in time. The family's dog Max stirred awake below, roused by the dull hum of the engine.

I sat at the big bay window; her father had so lovingly built for her. I watched as they exited the car, bedraggled and sore. I smiled slightly, remembering faintly the feeling of true pain. It's funny that anyone could find the memory of pain to be pleasant, but sitting here I couldn't stop smiling. Maybe the smile wasn't because of my memories, but the fact that she was alive, abet worse for wear, but safe.

__

You said that you could here bells in the traffic below  
I could hear sirens and _car__ engines fighting the snow_

They entered the house single file, making their way to their respective bedrooms. They made no sound, other then their feet shuffling along the floor. The sound never rose above a whisper.

I continued to stare out into the inky darkness of the night, barely acknowledging the slight creak of her -my- our door made as it swung open. I turn my head to stare at her still form. She blended in with the darkness, I could only make out the paleness of her skin. She watched the younger one enter his room. He never looked at her once only closing the door in her expectant face. I heard her sigh deeply then begin to move once more into the room.

Susannah had told me to leave. I had briefly entertained the idea. There was something about her that drew me in, that made me want to obey. Whether it was he unabashed attitude to everything, or the first touch of her slightly callused fingertips poking me in the chest, I had let my mind tread on the territory of giving up my existence in this house. She was different from any girl - person; I had ever met in my relatively long life.

__

I've been drowning forever  
I'll let go  
I'll dive into the river and flow

The door shut with a gentle click. Still she said nothing. Bleary eyed, she peeled off the wrinkled and torn clothing, haphazardly throwing them in the direction of her clothesbasket.

It felt as the currents of time had come to a crashing halt. The gentle stream I had been travelling on had dried up because of one girl. I couldn't bring myself to tear my eyes off of her form. She hadn't seen me. She continued to undress, and I began to feel different. The gentleman in me screamed that I should turn and hide my eyes. But still I watched. The moon shone down with weakness, a ray curving over her hip as she pulled on a pair of men's underwear. My breath caught, she didn't notice.

_  
  
I've been drowning forever  
I'll let go  
I'll dive into the river and flow_

Crawling into her bed she brought the covers close to her neck. Several minutes went by and she was breathing deeply.

How could I even consider leaving?

_  
  
Flow   
Flow  
Flow  
Flow  
Flow  
Flow_****

Author's Notes: Well, that idea had been pooling around in my head for about a year. Once again this is a one shot, after my muse was _stimulated_ (dirty sounding word) by the books which I am once again reading.

****

Man in the closet: Suze, keeps mentioning how Jesse will not go near her bathroom, so I wrote it that a guy hung himself in there when it had been a closet, giving Jesse a reason to stay away.

****

Jesse's behavior: Okay so it may seem out of character at first, but thinking about it, I could totally see him as a peeping Tom. _laugh_

****

The moon: Yes I do realize that the moon will have already set by the time Suze, Jake and David made it home, but for this story it was stuck in the sky for the night.

****

Connection to the House: There has to be a reason Jesse has stayed around for so long.

****

Vira: I am so sorry that I didn't feed this one through you before posting it. I wanted to get it up this weekend, so I had TheEngrishSpy beta for me. Sorry hun.


End file.
